I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
being pregnant is like rehab
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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