she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
