I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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