If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
