Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
