i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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