hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
