All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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