I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm both gender and math confused
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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