What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
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