i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, he came in my armpit
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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