ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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