Buhtt sex?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
