is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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