I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
