you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
