dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
