i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
