Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
