Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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