Your mouth is God's brothel.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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