he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
