The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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