I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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