You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
