she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
