Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
