I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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