Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
