Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
