your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize