soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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