My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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