i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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