we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
