I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had to cum in my sink.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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