Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

(1-416): View more from Ontario

u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

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(712): View more from Iowa

Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Let me tell you the story of bicurious george

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(816): View more from Missouri

The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF

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(415): View more from California

I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.

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