i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize