he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
