He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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