YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
