i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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