im six kinds of drunk right now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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