My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
