You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
