My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me