I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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