Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.