just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao