hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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