It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
