Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
