Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
