Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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