I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
