You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
