i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
