I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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