butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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