She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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