I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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